expert answers page 13 - Tardis - Already Dead

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expert answers page 13 - Tardis

 QUESTION:
I heard this site is set up by scientists.  Why don’t you do something useful like build a
time machine or TARDIS or some such to get us all the fuck out of here..?

ANSWER:

Good suggestion. This would be a better use of research grant money than most of the crap it gets spent on.  We’ll get working on the TARDIS idea, because that would do spacetime, not just time.

As you may know, the fictional TARDIS is bigger on the inside than its exterior suggests.  However even so, and even if we’re successful - we can’t absolutely guarantee that our TARDIS will necessarily be able to accommodate 7.5 billion people.*  

*We may also have trouble getting the door closed because new people keep getting born at a ridiculous rate.

Update:
A colleague has just pointed out that Earth is already a giant habitated spacetime transporter, because the Earth system carves its way through spacetime as it travels around the sun, the solar system moves through spacetime on its travels around our galaxy, our galaxy is travelling through spacetime towards Andromeda, and so on.  Since this is correct, it would seem that someone has already completed a TARDIS experiment, and we're already on it. But have almost finished destroying it.  And so are probably fucked.

Question status: this question has now been successfully answered by... That Creepy Guy in the Viking Costume

 
             

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